Weird Yet Wonderful Career Choices

Written by Emma Johnston

Note: The author's views are entirely his or her own and may not reflect the views of RetoxMagazine.com

Monday Morning Dread

So are you fed up with your job? Would you like a change of pace? Everybody would like to wake up knowing they were going to enjoy a day of work. I imagine that would feel like a big bosom hug from Meryl Streep. Of course I know that some lucky people out there live for their careers but for the majority of us it is just a drag.

So let me guide through my favourite selection of fantasy jobs that actually exist.

Chocolate Consultant

I figured it would be best to start with a less weird but utterly wonderful occupation, chocolate consultant. If you have a sweet tooth and a desire for all things sweet, this could be a job for you! There are actually many varieties of chocolate consultants available. You have your mainstream companies that probably have a bus load of consultants. Enough consultants to test the hundreds of sweet, creamy, sensual products they produce.

Or there are chocolate consultants that work for much smaller companies. Speciality chocolate is such a joy that it only comes a few times a year. A small bag of handmade chocolate that deserves to be savoured.... Queue drool on the keyboard. Not only would you become part of a process of art, but you could eat that magnificent chocolate every day and not feel guilty!

I would add that if you desire to become a chocolate consultant, please confirm with the company that a private dental and medical plan is in place. Fillings and diabetes are no joke.

Parachute Tester

That's right; some crazy adrenaline junkie leaps from a plane in order to test the parachute. Every day would essentially be an adventure. You risk your life for the good of all mankind. This isn't even an overstatement. Testers ensure that parachute prototypes are up to standard for the air force to use in their missions.

Then there are parachutes for skydiving companies! If you choose a career in parachute testing, you are essentially giving people a chance to complete a life dream. You are a dream maker! OK, that was a bit much but still, imagine getting up for work in the morning with the knowledge you are going to be jumping from a plane.

That's pretty sweet.

Face Feeler

What is a face feeler? Well, I'll tell you. There are people who test products such as make up or facial moisturisers that need to be examined after their trial. As these products are directly applied to the face, there needs to be research to examine the effects it has on the skin. This is done by donning a pair of rubber gloves and rubbing some faces.

Not only is there direct (and almost intimate) human contact but you can be all up in their personal space in the name of science. It would also be fantastically awkward situation to be in. You are placed in a room with a complete stranger and you get to ask them personal medical questions and prod them in the face.

I must say, I presume that you have to have some level of experience or degree to get a job as a face feeler. Bring the face feeling to the masses!

Toy Fashion Designer

Everybody loved their toys when they were a child. I still love my toys. I've moved on from Barbies and onto soft toys for my bed. Simple yet adorable. But when it comes to Barbie, Bratz or Action Man, somebody has to design their extensive wardrobe. Essentially you become part of the fashion world. Well the toy fashion world.

You can let your creative juices flow and come up with concepts for outfits that will be remembered by children forever. I remember one of my Barbie dolls was the coolest thing I'd ever seen. She was Exercise Barbie, and she had a bright pink leotard and shiny leggings. Her shoes had suction cups so she could stay in one place and workout! All that and she had groovy accessories. You can make toys wear clothes that real people would never get away with! I'm also sure there aren't many toy fashion critics out there trying to burst creative visions.

My thought process on this is that toys have changed through the years and there is no longer a focus on the clothes toys wear but more so on what they can do. I've even seen a doll and apparently the hair grows! That's ridiculous. What the market needs are trendy toys, that children love.

Condom Tester

This is one for everybody who enjoys a good roll in the hay. Big companies such as Durex go through phases of testing out their products on the public. There are no real requirements for the position. All you need to do is keep a log of each time you have sex and what products you used. You then assess if it made your lovemaking a more enjoyable experience or not. This could go terribly wrong if you are with a less experienced lover who does not know how to put on a condom. That would be very embarrassing for them. They'd be like "Durex made me flaccid".

I imagine it would be pretty hard to make a career out of this, but at least you have an excuse for spending more time in the bedroom, or the kitchen, or wherever. The research also extends into other products of a sexual nature such a lubricants and low maintenance toys. Like the ones you pick up in Boots these days.

Stick With The Day Job

I've only given you five examples of weird and wonderful jobs out there just now. But what it does highlight is that if you have a dream job in your head, it probably exists…