The Royal Arrival

Written by Emma Johnston, Photography by Lin Vitali.

Note: The author's views are entirely his or her own and may not reflect the views of RetoxMagazine.com

Photo by Lin Vitali

The Royal Baby

Hear All About It!

It doesn't matter if you love or hate the monarchy of the United Kingdom, you're going to hear about Kate Middleton popping out the latest little prince. I for one have no emotion in regards to them, they're here, they're staying, just get on with it. How much does it really affect your life? If anything it gives you something to read about in the Metro on your way to work. Will and Kate have conceived and here is all the information you need to know about this event.

Coolest Great-Grandparents Ever?

Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip are the most super excited they could possibly be! Well for their age anyway. I wouldn't be surprised if she has knitted the newborn a selection of outfits, or even paid someone to complete the task. Whatever the truth is, that baby is going to put Harper Beckham or Kingston Rossdale to shame. Maybe they will be friends...

The Royal Baby arrival - Worldwide Media and Press outside St Mary's hospital!

The Date

The due date has been speculated for some time now, but seeing as Prince William has been off on paternity leave from the RAF for a while now, so I am pretty sure we haven't been duped into a false arrival date. In reality he has been turned into any other man about to become a father, completely petrified. I bet it was fun being screamed at by the most photographed woman in Britain. The Duchess looks like she would tear the rest of his hair out. Only the most experience and trusted medical staff were helping Kate through her labour. You know what that means? Royal Gynaecologists! I want to see that reality show so badly!

Show Me!

The child will appear in front of adoring fans and the paparazzi as Kate leaves the hospital. Photographs will be allowed on the steps of the hospital. So everyone please think again about going anywhere near St Mary's Hospital. You won't make it out anytime soon. There is an increased police present and (according to my sources) a million helicopters floating around the sky of London.

The Royal Baby arrival - Worldwide Media and Press outside St Mary's hospital!

Get Ready For The Royal Baby

What I suggest is listing your five favourite boy names and waiting until the official name has been announced. This is being broadcast via social networking sites Twitter and Facebook. I hope my children are announced like that... I am also running to my local newsagent so I can have bottle of Cava refrigerated. Bubbly to wet the baby's head or an addiction? As it stands, this baby will be third in line to the throne. My proposal is to just let Charles be King? Just for a while, he must have the world's biggest chip on his shoulder. Then we can have William, then the baby! This leaves Prince Harry free to the world ladies.

William and Kate congratulations! It must be hard living out your life for the world to see.