Sizzling hot girl is looking to share a London apartment

Note: The author's views are entirely his or her own and may not reflect the views of RetoxMagazine.com

An exceptionally beautiful girl is looking to share a London vacation apartment. Your desire to have a gorgeous woman with fantastic fun-bags might just as well come true, or at least so for the duration of my London vacation. And I guarantee you it would be the best thing that has ever happened to you!.

You have several apartments in central London, you are single and wanting fun, you are straight and all your work mates are male! Your life revolves around unwanted testosterone and the only thing you ever wanted is to come home to a female eye-candy who could be on Britain’s Top Model with no strings attached. Well, for once, you will have something to look forwards to – a smoking hot chick that is neither your wife nor your girlfriend and is a whole load of fun!

My London vacation apartment must have a fridge.

Well, I promise to move all of my food to the bottom of the fridge. I will do so because I love attention and getting you to watch me as I bend over to reach my fruits shall give me immense pleasure. Stand back and enjoy honey, as I reach for the crisper! If you have strawberries, cream or any other edible fun stuff in your fridge then be aware, I play with food!

The apartment should have a large bathroom.

I love steamy showers and oil baths. In case you don’t challenge me to bathe with you, I will make every attempt possible to ‘accidentally’ bump into you as I am on my way out of the shower. I will also attempt to wear the smallest towel possible, if one at all. In the case of me wearing a towel, I shall attempt to ‘accidentally’ drop it on the floor as I bump into you, and I shall stroke my wet dripping hair against your body as I slowly rub against you while reaching down for the towel. Note again, that all of this, of course, will be highly unintentional.

Only interested in apartments in central London conveniently located for sightseeing.

I may display further signs of minimalism when I come back to the apartment after sightseeing in London wearing a coat and not much else underneath. But that will be subject to the weather. If the weather in London gets too hot and sticky or too rainy I may remain indoors wearing nothing at all!

Should be a serviced apartment with a constantly refilled liquor cupboard.

I will constantly let you try and attempt to get me drunk so that you could take advantage of me. Sadly, in attempting this, I will get you much more drunk than I could ever possibly be, having to resolve in using a vibrator as you pass out on the couch.

The apartment should have no restrictions on guests.

My girlfriends will often drop by for a little bit of fun. They will always be checking you out and may sometimes attempt to pull you, for which I apologise. However, do not be too alarmed. They are all awfully hot and they will not take advantage of you without your consent.

Shoot me in your apartment!

Last but not least, be sure to know that I will hound myself to be part of your amateur photography collection. You can then use these photographs to further decorate the walls of your fabulous London vacation apartment.

In all fairness though, it will take more than just having a scorching hottie as your flatmate merely sharing a London vacation apartment. You will also have to put up with the following:

You’ll pay my part of rent and all the bills.

You’ll provide me with a large storage space to accommodate my vast collection of costumes and toys.

It is an advantage if you play strip poker, would be willing to install a pole for my pole dance practices and own an old vibrating washing machine.

I am also a smoker.

If this sounds reasonable to you, write a 500-word essay on why you would make a good flatmate for me on my vacation in London. Then, throw that out and send me a picture of your house, your flat or the London vacation apartment you have in mind. As long as this London vacation apartment is central and hot, I really don’t care what you do, who you are or where you’re from. If you think your apartment looks like it could be on the MTV’s “Cribs”, send in your details and the pictures of the apartment, and in case you still haven’t chucked your 500-word essay in the bin, send that in too marking it with ‘London Vacation Apartment’ in the subject area.

PLEASE NOTE: The model pictures featured in this article are used only to illustrate the story and the model is in NO WAY directly associated with the content of the story.