Reality TV: Which Reality Is Mine?

Article by Emma Johnston

Note: The author's views are entirely his or her own and may not reflect the views of RetoxMagazine.com

Reality TV: Which Reality Is Mine?

Only Way Is Reality

In the space of 3 months, I have found myself addicted to nearly every reality show on the go. The Only Way Is Essex, Made In Chelsea, The Real Wives Of New York, and my long-time favourite, Jeremy Kyle. As I am a film student, a supposed lover of fine entertainment, should not be watching such... drivel. The thing is when you actually watch them, I mean actually sit down with it on, even in the background, they are the most entertaining shows!

So as a coping mechanism I devised a system to contribute each show to an aspect of my personality. As you do.

JEZZA

I'll choose my long standing argument/reasoning for series linking Jeremy Kyle first. Jeremy Kyle represents my inner pride. It does this by giving me a sense of purpose and achievement. When I sit down to do my weekly catch up, I always come away with the same thought. “At least I'm not on Jeremy Kyle.” I have to add though, I totally love Jeremy Kyle. He is a top quality presenter. I even refuse to believe he is a coke friend like everybody says.

When you see people less fortunate it is a horrible feeling to experience joy from it. But come on. The most recent memorable guests were a divorced couple who were airing their sexual past together. “You said to me. I want to watch you while another guy was F*****G you. I mean look into your eyes as he F**ks you.” GOBSMACKED! Gotta love it.

To steal a phrase that most Jezza guests say, At the end of the day (unquote), if it makes you appreciate your own life a bit more... do it. Watch it.

Would also like to add that Geordie Shore comes into this theory as well. WELL MINT!

MIC

Next Made In Chelsea, the glossiest of them all. This fantastic show represents my want, no, my need for a lusher lifestyle. To claim to be an artist or an entrepreneur or even a model but all I do is drink wine all day, go shopping and talk about boys. It is fantastic. They only ever and I mean ever, talk about the opposite sex. They have posh accents but don't do anything significant with their privileged lives. If dumbos like them can have lives like that, then I can! I could totally make myself pretty all the time just to drink champers and bitch all day.

What I do want to add in is about a specific person/character on the show. Francis. He is absolutely hilarious in the best way possible. I can see he isn't thick. He acts as a commentary for people like me who try to pass off their viewing as 'ironic' or 'sarcastic'. He seems like a fantastic and genuine guy.

TOWIE

This brings me onto The Only Way Is Essex. This is a mixture of pride and need. The need which is the same as the Made In Chelsea mindset. If they can do it, so can I. Anything is possible, American dream and all that jazz.

Then... the people. My God. The teeth, the make-up, the hair, the tans, the dresses and everything else in-between. If I had money like they do, I would not go out like an illuminate piece of shit. People maybe would say, you can't polish a turd... but they are the jealous ones. If it was me that is.

Also a wee shout out for James 'Arg' Argent. He is the actual Jester of the show. All of his eccentric speeches and hand motions! He doesn't even have to speak to make me laugh. He is the most awkward person I have seen on TV.

Real Housewives

Now, this is a show and a half. Before I go into my rant, let me tell you about some of these women. Ramona is a Real Housewives Of New York veteran. 56 with the best husband ever, she makes her own pinot grigio. She is mental and has the craziest eyes. Another old name is Luann, or should I say countess Luann and a recent addition, Aviva, she has a fake leg and looks like a melted Kim Basinger.

This wonderful show makes me thankful for my friends and family. All they do is 'work', drink, eat, exercise and bitch. Arguments are carried on through episodes and everybody is as bitchy as each other. They spend their time and money on each other. They go to all of the parties, they holiday together. They are meant to be friends. Instead they argue...all...the...time.

It makes you realise how trivial most arguments are. And life isn't about arguing, it’s about making the most of everything.

A side note is that when (- not if) Sonja's toaster oven gets made, I will buy it for my kitchen and frame the picture on the box.

End of TV?

Of course not. There are still fantastic shows out there with high and low production values. They are entertaining in their own way. Sometimes you just need to take the time out to reflect. And if you can't get any meditation time, reality TV shows will do the job.