Why working in an office can drive you to insanity!

Note: The author's views are entirely his or her own and may not reflect the views of RetoxMagazine.com

Why working in an office can drive you to insanity!

You can choose your friends but you can’t choose your colleagues

They say you can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family. Well, I’ve got news for you; in certain circumstances you can even choose your family. One thing is certain though; if you have ever had a job you will know that you cannot choose your colleagues, unless you’re the boss.

If you are lucky, your colleagues will be lovely, dropped fresh out of heaven and you will be paid to hang out in a friendly paradise. For the bigger part of us however we have to put up with smelly farts, bad breaths, paid idiots, and annoying nerve wrecking baboons that continuously manage to produce a constant flow of irritating sounds interfering with the perfect tone of divine SILENCE.

The silence of the lambs

Things have now hit the rock bottom (and your alter ego - the basement car park level of the office tower) and you now desperately need moral support, spiritual guidance and a shoulder to ‘bi*ch’ on. This is when you realise your office computer is blocked from Facebook, Twitter, personal emails, Youtube and any other social website that could either help you save your soul or spread global awareness about the tortures you’re being subjected to. Instead, you have to spend another dim day subjected to office dictatorship.

PS: I bet you can’t use your iPhone either, the eye of your boss is on you at ALL times!

A grim case of colour blindness

It is not your fault that you have to wear a pair of shiny black shoes, a perfectly cut black suit, a nice white shirt, a leathery black suitcase and a pair of black designer shades. It is not your fault that the office printer prints in black ink and on white paper. And it is not your fault that all of the company business cards are in black and white...

I suppose you’re probably lucky enough to work in a clean office with walls painted white, black tinted windows looking out onto a grey building across the road with more black tinted windows. If that view happens to be too plain, you can turn around. I bet all you will see is a black chair, another black suit, grey hair and a white Apple Mac.

Do you still remember your favourite colour? Yes, it’s red, the colour of the lipstick of the secretary sitting outside your boss’s office. Enjoy it, chew on it, as this is the only tone of red you will EVER see.

The Doomsday

Just when you thought you saw the light and you were finally ready to get away from that neurotic office, you realise this black and white movie never ends.

You get a promotion.