Coronavirus: Bog Roll Bandits

Post by R.M. team, 18 April 2020

Note: The author's views are entirely his or her own and may not reflect the views of RetoxMagazine.com

Toilet paper is a hot commodity during the coronavirus outbreak.

We’ve got some crappy news. During the coronavirus pandemic toilet paper seems to be a hot commodity among criminals.

United States of America

The Port Hueneme Police Department in California posted on Facecbook, "What we are about to tell you should make you flush with anger. We need to stop this lawlessness which is bubbling up from the bowels of our criminal underground… the officers discovered the mother-load in the back seat of the vehicle. Officers located 31 rolls of toilet paper, 31 towels of various sizes, 4 sets of bed sheets and 27 tissue boxes."

While the Californians describe 31 rolls of toilet paper, 27 boxes of tissue, some towels and a few bed sheets as a 'mother-load', a theft operation in North Carolina orchestrated a serious mother-ship of toilet paper - 18,000 pounds of toilet paper!

United Kingdom

Three people were arrested in Essex after stealing a haul of toilet roll. Within an hour of the burglary being reported the police tracked down the suspected thieves who had a van full of stolen toilet paper.

Germany

Brazen thieves stole 40 rolls of toilet paper from a locked room next to a public toilet in Kapfenburg Castle in Lauchheim (Ostalbkreis). They also took paper towels and soap with them. The article is in German, but you can Google Translate it to English.

Hong Kong

An armed gang of masked men stole 600 rolls in about 50 packets from a delivery man outside of a store in Mong Kok, Hong Kong. Police said one of the men was armed with two knives.

South China Morning Post reports, "Barrister Albert Luk Wai-hung believed the rolls of toilet paper could be considered valuable items given the supply issues, adding the case itself was serious." So now we know, stealing toilet paper, might be a serious crime!

Japan

A worker at a convenience store in Niigata prefecture, noticed people stealing between three to five rolls of toilet paper each day. The solution was to place a curse on its toilet paper rolls to prevent theft. She sketched an image that shows three eyes and several kanji characters and stuck it up in front of the toilet rolls. CNN reports, the kanji implies that if someone takes the toilet paper from the store, a hungry monster will hunt them down and gobble them up. Holy crap!