The fashion playground

Written by M Andre

Note: The author's views are entirely his or her own and may not reflect the views of

Head-f****d by fashion

Such is the sad end result of many of us vigorously following fashion, fashion designers and that entire trend-related havoc we see on the daily basis. In every designer shopping situation, on every chic travel destination and with every prestigious party invitation we are pressured to make choices, we are presented with dilemmas and we are forced to exhaust all thinking beyond the power of understanding, all in the name of fashion. What else can we call it if not a headf**k by fashion?

Toying with the mind

For instance, take a designer fashion item. It is clearly designed to spend all hours of the day trying to lure us into purchasing it. Days often become weeks and weeks become months. More often than never, we hear about the new designer fashion item coming out before it is even manufactured. We get all hyped up, then we finally see it on special displays and adverts, and then, as we wait in anticipation, at last, we see them delivered to shops. Hopefully, with all financial tiding going well, we can then proudly appoint it to a credit card and all this toying with the mind is temporarily suspended.

A fashion dilemma

Often a difficult or an awkward situation arises with no obvious correct course of action. Think about it. – Or actually you probably already have while slurping your coffee at Laduree in Harrods. You are desperate to have the fashionable white Versace Tri-shape Couture Bag for £1350 and the stylish black Anya Hindmarch Large Belvedere Bag for £725. This month, however, after all your holiday escapades in Hawaii and your fine dining in New York you are left with a budget only for the latter. Getting both of the designer bags would be the ideal scenario but sadly such is not the case. So here is how it works: If you go for the Versace bag which you desire more you are left without purchasing a bag next month as it is over your budget already, or you can take the Belvedere bag leaving you in continuous desire for the Versace bag, and the same dilemma will probably roll over into the next month. Solution? – Take another holiday to think about it.

Comfort within your own skin …Or rather discomfort

Fashion and trend can go to graver extremes. Here in England, and I can say the same for a relatively large part of Europe, the lighter toned people are inclined to go to great lengths to rediscover their darker selves: skin tanning salons, sprays, creams, artificial sun-beds… You name it! All the major brands have commercialised on the insecurities of the lighter skinned population, and so the fashion conscious masses are busy changing their colour from ‘white’ to anywhere on the spectrum within the range of orange and dark brown.

The second you leap over the puddle – Asia being our recent experience - you’ll be forced to hang your eyes on a billboard, which more likely than not will be advertising a skin bleaching cream. Indeed, numerous local and international brands are milking the cash cow nurtured by insecurities of the darker skinned population. Blokes and girls - the younger, and the older – all busy caking on the cream, while the media restlessly dictates how ‘white’ skin is more attractive.

So does anyone really care what colour we are? - Probably not. Excellent. So lets continue our colour dodging in a shady attempt to comply with this current style and fashion. Do try and stick to fewer shades before it gets really confusing though!

And then the ridiculous…

Often we get the bliss opportunity to watch designer fashion shows and see the fashion items that manage to confuse the living lights out of us. I wish we could say these occasions are rare, but many would constitute that as a lie. As confuckinfuzzled as we may get, we often try our hardest to understand where the fashion designers are coming from, and we don’t really mean the back flashes of the 70s psychedelic drug rage. Nope. The over exaggerated creativity, the pointless aim in fashion and the general parade of madness - surely these are just for shows? Or do such fashion designers expect us to indulge in, observe, absorb and wear their mad creations as a regular behaviour on a regular workday? - Oh, but wait! There is that Lady Gaga!

…And all in the name of fashion

So what do we make of fashion and all the confusing messages ‘fashion’ sends out? Well, we don’t make anything of it. We are so confused about fashion, and by fashion that we are happy to continue being confused and tag along enjoying the ride. We shall therefore continue to shop, run the credit card juicer on full power and passionately follow the fashion decree. We shall make decisions to educate our children about fashion at an early age and pass on the need to follow our fashion gurus from generation to generation. We shall climb the society ladder dictating the social order based on the price of your handbag and the bag loads of personality stuffed in the inside pocket of your jacket. And so we shall watch all the fashion designer shows like our prehistoric ancestors watched the bees buzzing by and the birds soaring high. Why? - Because we can’t get enough of it!


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